The Best Travel Advice I Ever Received
“I’ve traveled to 98 countries in my life and I still hope to see many more.” It was this sentence spoken three years ago by a 75-year-old German woman that made me break my golden rule of business travel: never ever make eye contact with or talk to the person sitting next to you.
Let me back up. I’ve had far too many bad experiences on planes while traveling for work. I apparently have the opposite of “resting bitch face”, also known as “please tell me your life story even if I have headphones on while intensely working on my laptop face”. And since I travel for work at least every other week, I rely on my precious plane time to get said work done. So I devised a plan to avoid having conversations on planes: don’t look at the person sitting next to me, turn my body away, wear headphones, and get shit done.
But on this particular day, sitting next to this particular woman, I couldn’t help but be intrigued even before she said a thing. She just looked like someone who had seen things and had experienced life. So, against my better judgement, I asked where she was going. And within 15 minutes, she casually mentioned that she had traveled to 98 countries. From that point, I just knew I wasn’t getting any work done on that flight. Nor did I care. I had to get all of the details.
She told me about road tripping down the eastern coast of Africa with her girlfriends when she was in her 30s. She told me about going to New Zealand on a shoestring budget with her husband for their one year anniversary. She told me about traveling through India on her own as a young woman. She told me how she had always prioritized travel and that her meager salary was never an issue. She was fearless. She was humble. She was inspiring.
After her stories, I asked if she could offer any advice to a young woman also full of wanderlust. I didn’t know what I was expecting– maybe some practical advice on how to save money or a recommendation of a few must-see places on her list. But what I damn well wasn’t expecting was a profound piece of advice that would impact my entire perspective of both travel and life. Here’s what she said:
“If I may be so bold as to give you some advice, I would tell you to take three trips every year. There can be no excuses. No trip can be too big or too small. But you must take three trips a year.
One trip should be with your partner. It will strengthen your relationship to experience new things together. And will push you both to grow by getting outside of your comfort zones.
Another trip should be with your girlfriends. As you get older you tend to lose touch. You have separate lives. You have jobs. You have houses. You have babies. And you start to lose some of the bonds that originally brought you together. The key to keeping those relationships together is by having new experiences together. By getting away from daily life and remembering all of the crazy things you have in common. By creating new stories together that you can reminisce about for the next year and sustain you until your next adventure.
And finally, you should take a trip by yourself every year. It’s easy to travel in the safety of others. But you never really know who you are until you experience the wonders of this world on your own. You never truly take in the landscape the same way. You never really stop worrying about if everyone else is having a good time and just focus on what you want. You will never truly be able to break out of your shell until you have created a bond with a perfect stranger in a place you are unfamiliar.
If you take these three trips every year, you will have stronger relationships with everyone you care about, including yourself. And you will see the world for the beauty it holds, not just the darkness.”
Needless to say, my mind was blown. The advice was so simple, yet it spoke to me. It seemed to both fill me up and throw me for a loop. And as someone who is rarely, if ever, at a loss for words, I was actually speechless. I fumbled my words, said “thank you”, and shook her hand as we left. And throughout all of this, I forgot to even ask her name (gah, I’m such a n00b).
But since that day, I’ve thought a lot about that advice. And while I haven’t been perfect in living it, I am now ready to take on her first challenge of “No excuses”.
This year, I will take all three trips and document my experience:
- One trip with my partner: I think Matt and I nailed that one with Antarctica. High fives.
- One trip with my girlfriends: A bachelorette party weekend at the Bourbon Trail is on the horizon for April. Woot.
- One trip by myself: This one is tricky business and I’m excited for the challenge. The only times I’ve traveled by myself have been for work… and that just doesn’t count. I’m planning to do this in the late summer or early fall. Any recommendations? I’d love them.
So, here’s to a year of adventure and strengthened relationships, with all of the messiness, mix-ups, life lessons and ridiculousness that it includes. And, through it, hopefully I will do myself and my wise German friend proud.
What about you? Do you subscribe to this advice yourself? Other words of travel wisdom to live by?